I would say it is getting better. I cannot say what 'it' actually is, but it has to do with this time of my life. And am I having the time of my life? Well, in a manner of speaking, yes. This must be adulthood. No one ever explained that life can be stressful and rich at the same time. Naturally, it all revolves around eating. That and a completely unexpected addition to the daily routine - driving. Yes, every day I have been hitting the road. Not necessarily hitting it very hard, such as this Read more [...]

The next time my wheelchair nicks the lid flap of an open carton...I will do exactly what I'm doing now...keep going. It's getting to me. Whatever 'it' is. My life is still in disarray. I can't find the book I purchased about how to grow tomatoes in San Francisco. I can't find anything...everything is lost. I am lost. Which is ever so slightly dramatic for a fine Sunday morning in this most beautiful city. I am alive, not lying dead in a Berkeley street. And let us say hallelujah. Jane's congregation Read more [...]

This is the age of discomfort. This is age period. The discomfort is bodily, although it feels situational. One must go down to the shops again. The morning has been full...waking too early and worrying about my van...then a visit from Perry, home physical therapist. Why worry about the van? Because in the midst of all this flux, worry is what's happening. The target doesn't matter. The background level of fear remains constant. I fear driving the van...and I fear not driving it and, as recently Read more [...]

I am being difficult. That's because things are difficult. And I find it difficult to be otherwise. Take my recent 'van breakdown.' Nothing actually broke down, making a difficult situation, more difficult. The most difficult thing proved to be collecting the car from its repair site in Fremont. You will recall that this van has no driver's seat. So no one can drive it to me. And with my car currently in the repair garage, I have no van to drive. 'Can't you get here?' This from Access Options, Read more [...]

It was well after 6 PM when I realized that the day was gone. How could a Tuesday be entirely spent indoors...at this particular moment in my new San Francisco neighborhood? Actually, there was a break to the bakery down the street. I got the residents of the new house happily fueled on scones and sticky buns. But that was it. Oh, there was time outdoors after all. I forgot the long wait in front of the house. But I digress. Unfortunately, the day began at 3 AM. There was a mishap. Jane is traveling Read more [...]

The term 'moving' describes so little, particularly in my case. Yes, recently I have shifted domiciles. In leaving one apartment of 22 years for a larger and shared home marks a considerable change. Moving from a benign suburban to a buzzing city marks something else. But the strangest sensation has to do with the sense of pioneering. We are camping in our San Francisco home. I look at the beautiful tile in the bathroom shower and temporarily forget that on the floor above me an entire room still Read more [...]