It was the icing on the cake. And sometimes cakes need a little icing, I always say. What I don't always say is how pervasive a sense of dread hangs over my days. And it frequently takes the form of driving phobia. Yes, it has become a thing. And not a good thing. In any event, there it is…the fear that I will get behind the wheel and something bad will happen. And, yes, Gentle Reader, it's not entirely without merit, this sort of obsession. Just watch pedestrians idly wander across the street, Read more [...]


The trick is not to take a cue from the weather. In San Francisco the latter begins with a gloomy countenance, a grayness that appears with the morning. Someone on the radio may insist that it's all temporary. But this person is unreliable, I believe. In any case, I am not persuaded. Besides, my mood seems to reinforce the meteorology. I am usually convinced that my grim outlook reflects permanent reality. It's hard to see beyond. Just as it is hard to see that the San Francisco fog is, as the weather Read more [...]

Not Getting Robbed

On certain gray San Francisco days, it is easy to believe that summer has been damaged, hope is absent…and there is nothing to do but wait. Godot is just around the corner. Does he have lunch? There is always that. Finishing a book draft is like stumbling into a clearing in the forest. An empty space, quite attractive, but baffling. What to do? Well, there are the issues. A slate of political outrages awaits, doesn't it? And several are always bubbling in the back of my mind. Whither Amtrak? Read more [...]

Lost Tomato

I am in my greenhouse and noting a particularly attractive cherry tomato, all orange and ripe. Go for it, I tell myself, choosing to pop the thing right in my mouth. But not before I drop it on the stone floor. This occasions a long bout of self recrimination. Cries of 'stupid' being the predominant verdict on my general alertness and capabilities. My way of reacting to what is a most annoying, and frequent, occurrence. Dropping things. Vis-à-vis gravity. And then leaning over my wheelchair arm Read more [...]


I take heart…where I can. Who doesn't? Important to compare notes. Key to weaving the social fabric. And we need all we can get. Of course, there's the lettuce. Salad on the brink. Quite a bit in my greenhouse, and more on the way. A gift that keeps on giving, or at least, photosynthesizing. In fact, there are days when I repair to the greenhouse, tilt my wheelchair back and enjoy. Precisely what I am enjoying is rather difficult to tell. On many days, it is simply shelter from the maritime Read more [...]


Mostly, I feel tired. This is partly attributable to having gotten over a cold. And, maybe not quite over. But a lot of it has to do with the ongoing emotional overhead of getting robbed at my doorstep…in a wheelchair…with all the unpleasant resonance of my previous injury. And although this is real enough, I must remember that it is a first world problem. Yes, I have had trouble getting my replacement iPhone (the stolen one was fortunately insured) fully operational again. Meaning that I can't Read more [...]