I hope I sleep well tonight. This is what is left over from a scary day. Not that all current days aren't scary. Upon reflection, there was plenty of scary stuff going on before the coronavirus walked on stage. But with mortality staring everyone in the face, those disquieting undercurrents can no longer be ignored. There's a massive undertow, and it's pulling at all of us. One of the abnormal facts of my current life involves the newfound fear of getting help. The latter used to be readily available. Read more [...]

Tolstoy said it best, that times can simultaneously be the best and the worst. And as discussed earlier, one of the best features of these times involve the stripping bare of social reality. But interestingly, there's a lot going on with interior reality. Is it just my imagination that Jane and I are closer these days? No. Our mutual vulnerabilities are on fuller than usual display. And we have been through a thing or two. This week my spasming lower back occasioned some close neuromuscular calls. Read more [...]

Something came into focus today as I awaited the long-delayed arrival of my massage guy. Actually, there are better ways of describing Ricky, but I'm not sure which to use. Rolfer would be one. But many people don't know what this means. And 'bodyworker' sounds a bit too much like someone who performs illicit acts or pounds out the dents in one's car. Ricky does pound out the dents in my musculoskeletal system, that is true. More to the point, he is one of those rare, intuitive people with a special Read more [...]

There is a lot of coping going on. Exactly who is coping with what is hard to say. The coronavirus may be novel, but the novelty wore off long ago. Everyone wants this over with, of course, but no one can really imagine a virus-stable future. So like billions of people, I stumble forward daily. Which means there are lots of discoveries. One of them is that I don't particularly like watching films or even television dramas. I would rather read. Actually, I would even rather watch the lettuce grow Read more [...]

Of course there will be one. Won't there? One appreciates the little things, of course. And the one that comes to mind is my regular trips to Cup, the small café at the bottom of the hill and slightly beyond. In fact, it is oddly placed on a thoroughfare rather devoid of shops and provided with a pleasant vista thanks to the slope that falls away toward a motorway and the nondescript Excelsior neighborhood beyond. On a good day, when the weather permits and the windows have been cleaned, Mount Read more [...]

I have a daily project, which is to revise a book. Which is a splendid thing, unless the Book of Life is being revised for you, minute by minute.  We all need routine. The sense of things happening, tasks being executed, responsibilities fulfilled on a regular basis…is a fine one. But these days I have to let go of routine. Abandon expectations. Give up on getting anything done. Lives are done, so many of them every day. The Pandemic of 2020 is what's happening. And nothing will ever be Read more [...]