If there is an opposite to déjà vu, then that’s what’s happening to me now, every day. My morning begins when Dennis, my helper, departs. His leaving means that the day’s essential neuromuscular bases have been covered. I have ridden the exercycle. I have walked, leaning on Dennis, back and forth on the terrace five times. I have reclined upon the treatment table so Dennis can stretch my limbs. Then I have stood in a special frame for half an hour, while I do a few breathing exercises, Read more [...]

The journey from my neighborhood of San Francisco to Berkeley is hardly a long one. And it is also a very familiar run. I have friends in Berkeley. The Berkeley Repertory Theater is in, you guessed it, Berkeley…and Jane and I have been going for years. So what feels so terribly different, not to mention foreign, on the particular day that I set out to meet my cousin Gregg at a Thai restaurant on University Avenue? I know this route. I have been making this run for essentially 50 years. I once Read more [...]

As Country Joe put it so eloquently in my youth, I feel like I’m fixin’ to die. He was referring largely to the Vietnam war, and I am referring to nothing much except the prospect of old age and an increasing orthopedic pain level and general angst and anxiety. None of this is particularly logical. But it’s interesting. Because it’s real, and it’s happening, and it’s now. Is this a common occurrence, something that accompanies the latter stage of life? I just don’t know. The Read more [...]

Well, what a difference a phone call makes. Only a few minutes ago, I was musing that this is the summer of my discontent, and winter promises to be even worse…. But then I remembered a dream. It was something about getting involved in political/polemical matters again, particularly at Congregation Sha’ar Zahav (Hebrew for Golden Gate) here in San Francisco. And let me digress to explain what I can about the discontent. These days I can get very caught up in my own orthopedic infirmities. Read more [...]

I am waiting for someone to answer Kaiser Permanente’s phone. I am trying to reach Dermatology. Not only does the phone ring, it sings. The on-hold music is so repetitively familiar that I feel like humming it when someone finally answers. In fact, when a receptionist appears, I want to chirp ”how can I help you?” Unless the person at the other end is naturally attuned to the surreal, this greeting should set up a cascade of confusion. Never mind. I finally get through, and the receptionist Read more [...]

The day dawned bright and, yes, a bit too bright. One could sense this even at 8:30 AM. Stiil, I was delighted. Fog shrouds San Francisco persistently and in a way the challenges the spirit. At least mine is challenged. And let me point out that I spent four years in London, where in my first June the temperature never got out of the 50s Fahrenheit. So, I should know better. But I don’t. Or to put a much sharper introspective point on it, my spirits are challenged in general. I headed out for Read more [...]